Loose Gloves (& Atmospheric Pressure)

How impressionable 

The slipping reflection of lamplights

Flipping like a film in eyes of morning

Fire hydrants of red, wet with golden ideals

An image of disregard—the street corners

Places you haven’t been, untouched shadows

The time considers advancement, but there is no place for it on your wrist

A drifting breath from the stranger’s gaze

The sociopath gripping at your hands is blindly delighted

To find a dime in the palm for a penance sought through paper

A founded love for the meaning depicted by the pen

A city asleep, unseen graffiti is spread against our eyelids

Do the bats fly westward? It would be fitting

The man carries a cane, the support of a toothpick,

Strolling abandoned walkways; respect sought after 

A dead end with an unknown consequence

Curiosity inspired,

The bats support his dignity as it splinters with the cane

A better life out west, carry on my surname. 

Resorting to Candles in a Power-Outage

Whispers like a cloud sifting through the sky
A tragedy bound adolescent ascending the stairs
A cluster of bruises, a course set by the winds
The waning screams of authorities act as a lullaby
The tornado sirens become a comforting ideal
Reverberations of the sound of the city below,
A cranial configuration of concern
Balancing beam-- can you hover above the storm?
The sun is blocked, no more shadows, just a still absolute
A silence before the thunder, 
Have a cigarette to calm you in this silence
Here’s a light. 

several short, simple poems.

I slide by through the hallways
Glancing out each window
To capture you momentarily with my eyes
I can’t speak
My dialogue is only thoughts
Bravery, I left behind
With my heart in a spiraling knot. 

-----------------------------------

Even In This Weather
 
 Can you pick me out on the avenue?
It seems that I’m crawling with needles
They upholster my spinal bones
Emotions swim in the clouds, brewing.
If we were stitched into a sweater
Could we keep it together?

-----------------------------------------------------

Put your hand over my mouth
I can’t keep it shut
I’m an endless void
That lacks the guts .

-------------------------------------------

The minute hand is getting lost in the hour
The clock fits into the pupils in your eyes
Transfixed on each other, but I’m watching the time
You don’t dare to blink because you’ll know I’ll be gone
We were just a second off. 

------------------------------------

I don’t dare to write more than five lines
I realized this the last time
My words are so small and insignificant
They just contribute to a larger distance
I used to try to fill in the blank
___________________...

-----------

Black & White Photography (Edit)

The glossy film in your hand

holds two faces:

one etched into it, and in the light, 

a reflection of yourself. 

Fingertips flick through, pausing on a photograph

As a memory slithers forth to the front of the rest, 

A recollection. 

I reached out to you, 

My hands, an ill exposure, 

glistening with papercuts and sweat 

the result of handling your pictures in secret. 

You kept the photograph away from me.

I asked why there were faint traces of yellow around the edges

You caught my stare

I focused my eyes away, at the door. 

I left you alone in the dark room; 

Speaking to no one:

“This photo yellows with age

and we are of an egg, the core.”

For Whom Does God Prey?

you hang adrift with arms extent, 

open to consume nothing but air in your longing for

thoughts cocoon and confine you,

feeling as content as you are empty

you mean everything, 

but keep your mouth silent, skeptical

why scream when you can hold still for an eternity?

suspended, dangling, shaking only with the wind, 

your company is shared with a few broken leaves

confident once the idea is conceived:

the killer is the one who weaves.

Faith

You were found resting among other pearls swallowed in the midst of the ocean

We stood in lines along the sea’s edge whispering shadowy things about the edges in the water’s movements 

In the midst of building a wall, you struck like a maelstrom, 

Manifesting your image into the lining of our eyes

Moon-kisses hung upon your lips like a stuttering response, trailing

Malignant growths graced across your skin--tainted tattoos of an intoxicating beauty

You stung with each touch

and we struggled to grasp the awakening idea

Every sound you produced called to us, feeding like parasites

Enticed and irrational, we found ourselves facing what we idolized

Sliding into your mouth, we welcomed a forked tongue

“You saved us,” we screamed,

the words in the air forever hung.

the things that are missing

What last was bright, a dream, in eyes wand’ring?

Along, it lies, a scratch in sleep discard

A blanket hides the feel of things. Forward.

You take the answer out of me, cov’ring

A lie, revealed, moving the stained bedding 

You hide the sheets quickly behind old scars

When smiles impact, the force remains, truth marred

Exclaim, the three words now said, commoning

You strike at all of our, once lost, mem’ries 

Dirty bed sheets should be kept at the house

Let’s not rip off the scab—it blossomed old

You sigh, I speak--this ought to be a myst’ry

Thoughts leave, musing, the emotion aroused

Let’s not rip off the warmth when we stay cold

the moon looks like god's got a hangnail again

We counted our freckles in the pale lamplight

Comparing ourselves in the blanket of the night

We came to the conclusion that the sun was trying to pinpoint us and strike us down.

But we still stand, protected by the privacy that these backrooms offer

We found constellations in our skin

And together we formed the skies

We ignored the questions that pummeled to the top of our minds

and held each other in this silence

Joined by the company of the lonely stars.

drowning in the dirt

Planted like an annual in a ground on a planet unknown

Left to face the wind on my own

The rivaling vines and weeds

My roots grow deeper and I begin to want to bloom underground

Dirt shadows my color that the sun fades each hour

In the quiet of the night, I live for no one

Retiring to myself

Dwelling on the minutes

The rain is my only caretaker, but I must share it with the rest

I look towards the winter to frost my breath.

Why does the sun never wax?

Sundust and tempers staring this way

They shift in the wind and shadow our minds

We close one eye, peering through the other

Focusing on onesinglesun that is never set the same way to someone else

Left alone in our one-sided blindness,

We try to move forward, but we remain off-balance

We stand on the edge, where our feet have led us

And where our rational has left us

Emotions as our lead, we step into a dance

The fall of the music and the peak of the sun

Melts our memories and makes a new one.

a life so sweet that you could regurgitate it all

Like a wrapper being plunged away from a sugary sweet candy, the frilly thoughts of an anticipating and angsty adolescent come rushing off the fingertips and onto the pages. Delicately and deliberately, her mother draws a set of conclusions from the diary, stripping the pages of poured emotions away from the spine of a plain, but nostalgic, spiral notebook. She flicks her fingertips, rummaging through the remnants of the past year and the successive suicides of two sisters that now only reside and linger in the shimmers and shadows of a widow’s wandering mind at the fringe of insanity.

it's more than love

Depravation

Like loss of circulation

You turned white in the doorway

With your heart and words bound

In your throat

I told you not to leave

Because

This is a dictatorship

No one counts your vote

& You dropped your coat.

afternoon affairs

I wrote some words

First, on my hand

Then, pressed into the paper

I threw myself into the fall wind

And let the letters lie with the leaves

I thought about how I was undoing myself

As you bent to tie my shoelaces

I noticed a leaf in your hair

And my letter in your hand

And we both smiled gently

Because we came to understand..

the social workers are coming

I don’t want to quit writing today

Even though they came to my room

I just smiled and wrote down the thoughts that circled between us

Above our heads

They told me, “Get dressed. We must leave.”

But I told them, “No,

I just started to believe.”

Check-Out Time With the Receptionist

I stare at the walls in this empty hotel room

I don’t feel like listening

The telephone tries to talk with me

I called room service asking them to clean my memory

I open the veil to the city’s eyes

I sit here exposed--suffering wisdom’s arms

Can you honestly say that you don’t lie on Sundays

When your back is on the bed next to me?

I noticed that time hangs on the wall

It’s next to my bed waking me into everyday

The clothes in the closet are too nice

To belong to someone who plays with business

You stand at the door

If there is no lock, how come I am looking for a key?

A Quieted Follower

I’m in your shadow
Peaking over your thoughts
But you don’t turn around
And I stare at your back
Your eyes reflect the light
So you’ll never see me
Even if I grab you by the ankles
That link us together
I can’t ever grab your heart
So I sit quietly
Sobbing in the dark.

DRUGZZZ (haha)

You stare me down
With your hypnotist’s eye
Don’t do these things.
You’re twisting my insides
And I can’t decide
What was my original idea?
But I keep showing up at your door
You’re my drug dealer
And I want more. 

Contortion

I hold a mirror to my heart
But I don’t see a thing
I touch
And I feel warm blood
It warps me like paper poetry
Playing in the wind and rain
My eyes cry silver
Searching in the skies
Raindrops slide by on these windows
Running somewhere to be free
But just meeting a puddle of mud
My ears seek words
But this loneliness silences all
My thoughts run in laps
And I achieve nothing but a shaky embrace of myself
A meeting
The blade on my skin forges meaning within my dark thoughts
They match this stormy business
And the ice on my lips

For a Friend

Shaky, I approached the “you must be this tall” sign
But it’s not a question of height
I have a million reasons not to try this
But I can’t go now
My ticket is pressed in my sweaty palm
And you encourage me from the park bench
I give you half a smile and step, tripping, into the seat
It’s a hot summer day and everyone is getting on the ride
Nobody understands the struggle that I’m trying to cover
But I’ll do it for you, if you are close to me to this day
I’ll get on this rollercoaster and I’ll hold on tight
Even if it’s not the right choice to make
I’ll keep going until the end..

Destined to Drown

I lie on the bathroom floor
Forever sober
Floating in the excess words and water
These pipes take me by the throat
Drained of thoughts
And dancing with my reflections
I don’t see anyone other than me
But, my eyes are open without any air
Turn on the shower
I’m bathing in blood from self-inflected wounds
I know you’re not meant to find me
I wish I were never in the womb.

This Hour and This minute--are my coordinates

Hush me wind,  it’s chilly in my thoughts
Dry out my voice,  I argue too much
I can’t see you  when you stare straight at me
I’m fevered   and lonely
If your mouth   brushed mine,
I could share   this sickness
I stand    here
waiting,   staring at the street sign
This road is   parallel to yours
How do   we meet?

Abstract Subtraction

The sky echoes a lonely dribble of orange paint
With nothing but large black shadows contorting it
Into a modern abstract artist’s delight
But the threads of attachment hang from each limb
And they don’t have it inside their hearts to change it
Scissors couldn’t fix anything
And not even god can change this imperfect masterpiece
That’s left for only a child to take in their young eyes
Eyes that are half open so that they can deny what they don’t want to see
That’s how it should be.

with wings, i fly west.

My desk is covered in poetry
But I find no comfort in words
How I wish to shed my sweater
(It remains on even in the summer)
My loneliness is as long as an eagle’s journey,
But far from as valiant
And I don’t find any wormholes
I lay in my bedroom regurgitating what I know
With a hang-over
What happened last night and where am I now?

fragments of an idea

We find meaning in shards of glass
But we only smile because we don’t quite understand
Passing it off like a quick glance
And we exchange thoughts
Knowing no one is right
Answers unachievable
Yet we settle for compromises
But there are no promises in those
Do I love you?
Well I suppose…

parting to depart..

You write me off “go save yourself”
So I throw myself to the sharks
And my heart is rejoicing as my flesh is ripping
This is what I’ve wanted…
An exciting exit that takes me to a dull street corner
(I’m revisiting my vows of going to sea with you)
I think it’s time to take myself in for tonight
“Look alive child” the old taxi driver says
With a voice that echoes the very sound of gravel
Pulling up to the curb, asking
“Where to?”
But I just answer with my own question,
“How much do I owe you?”
Betting on my body to settle the bill.

merry?-go-round

I saw the back of your head
On the merry go round
Endlessly chasing dreams
Like the fictional characters we rode upon
The cynical man dictated our speed and movements
But never allowed me to catch up to you
My hands held onto the pole that used to be painted gold
But was now chipping and wearing away
Like the ages of all who had touched it
I see the young children pile on and scatter
Separating, spreading, and moving on
The mothers and fathers wait, watching, as we rotate in circles
Waving. 

Spiraling Staircase

The words you said
Stick with me like sugar to an empty glass
I keep writing about you,
But I keep seeing myself left alone
On a shelf,
A butterfly was placed in a jar
Its dust has fallen
Like that in this room
Blending in with the walls in this candlelight
You would whisper lonely things,
But now it’s just me who feels these shivers
Down the spine
And on the stairs
Descending, ascending, or transcending
These walls.

We Prefer To Be Numb

Polished, but jagged-long nails only trace the skin
In hints of growing thought
The eyes feel at place and the body feels numb and comfortable
And the mind a little unsettled
Shivers start at the core like hard alcohol spreading through like a massage
But rolling like melted ice, how it easily slides off a hand
They feel as if they turned each one of us inside out and our backs feel like a million little pricks of needles were summoned upon us at once
Just our heads are dunked into the freezing water and our necks jolt, straightening out farther to respond to the cool breath that tickles from the other side of the water
Some chosen imperfected other whispers suggestively foul things at our ears and necks severing our thoughts from drifting
And the true meaning erupts like a blossoming of blue and purple bruises starting at our smallest limbs crippling inward
Destroying like a disease, it freezes each blood line- aiming for the heart
Our feet dangle like branches in the gray clouds (no fruits on these trees)
We are then placed somewhere squandering away for years
We imagine destruction even though we have already been there
Aware of our disillusion, we ease ourselves into realization
The breath of life is indeed icy.

Paint It Black

Your face contorted in my watery reflection

blotching ever so unsightly around the edges

The violin was playing like a broken nail upon glass

as it oozed lullabies into our ears

Blood was about your mouth like lipstick applied with a shaky hand

and the corners of your lips drew down with the wilting of discarded watercolors on an envelope

You slid in and out of darkened crowds like freedom denied-ungraspable

Unwanted on the street-corner and questionably clothed, you wore your boots unlaced

Tripping over the most fabricated of lies, you told me to look at the moon

I did

And it slid out of your pupil

like a dusty snowflake

alliteration "S"

Sophia sat submitting a sequence of uncertain circumstances, saying each sentence with a chattering of teeth as shivers slid to the surface of her skin with unmatched skills and subtleties. She slowly switched into a silent soliloquy stopping only so that she could stare into the skies. 

Fraying of the Flesh

the trees cracked at a touch

bark and dust fell around us

like a new depth to the growing shadows

we stood holding hands

our palms sweaty with the last drops

of ever-thirsting life that slid, dripping, off our minds

your lips caught on with the growing storm

the dandelion's seeds were lost 

and the stems lay about our feet like an end to promises

we cradled our sanity as we rocked it to sleep

with nothing but the stilling wind as our everlasting lullaby.

Even The Air Is Trembling

this heat in the summer

makes the city look trippy

and I begin to feel slighted

and the cars are running

like shimmering silver tears

chasing after some unknown emotion

there is no sidewalk

but i just sit on the curb

watching

HA, LOVE TODAY (sorta old i just forgot to put it up)

Charmer,

Where would you suggest

That I start to get undressed?

(I’ll toss my old clothes behind me)

Naked thought proves an innocent mind

I hope you’ve put the past behind?

Discovering secret bruises

And places where the hand shakes

This is the answer

To my body’s mandate

I’ll disturb you in return

For matching the pace that you yearn for

Poetry, seeking silence in the movies,

I’d tuck a memory behind your ear

And you’d move right through me.

Jealousy would tie the bow

And a ring would tie the knot.

My stomach’s indigestion brings us to a parking lot.

Side streets and hiding in the far corner

Love is a mystery

You can’t say you didn’t warn her.

Awkward silences provide that old shadow of doubt

Afterwards will you remember what you fought about?

Make up sex and forget-me-nots

There’ll always be a mistress to bring along..

Children crawling out from the womb,

This kind of marriage always starts to consume.

After I found out that you fucked her before

(That whore!)

You’ll feel remorse

Only when

I

File a divorce. 

an attempt at purging

I'll spit up this blood for your favour

I'll stop shooting up so I can meet you sober

I won't mention what keeps me here

by the time you say hello

I'll fall down 

& shake in your embrace

an end to ideals

We dipped our blood in circumstance

the ink smeared on your lips

and the arrangement wilted at my door

the garden didn't glitter during the seasons

because the air was dry

saluting each day fell into routine 

routine no longer mattered

sleep felt like a sickness

my eyes slowly learned to block out the light

and all i can remember is our uniform tears

our faces pressed together 

as you sucked my kiss--

Insignificant Moments

your lips tasted of vodka and blood

but I allowed you to leave

I stood smoking in the rain

as I watched the taxi carry you into the city

the people walk by with stony faces

carrying black umbrellas

I sat on the curb by the pub

the piano wrapped itself into my numbing toes

and my thoughts danced softly in the rain

drawing on my cigarette

I thought up poetry

but I didn’t write anything down

Understanding the Understatement

Your skin is brimmed with pictures

I saw what was written on your palm

It read all the way down to your elbow

I could not find the author’s name

When I looked into your eyes

I watched as they rolled down that hillside

Shining once

Then disappearing with the sun

Beyond the clouds

Knowing what was going on

And feeling it

Are two different things

Just like me and you

Irrevocably I crossed your name off the list

Stuttering on the last sentence of the poem in class,

I ran out of the room as soon as it was finished.

Plucked Wings

I’m falling out again

Everyone is a part of the disease

Moths are feeding on my soul

I feel completely aware that I’m alive

And golden strings form my pupils

Nothing is beautiful

I looked through your body

You were hiding everything

You were wrong about me.

 

& You never had wings…

EL CAMBIO

You’d be this way

If you heard poison restrict you every hour

That’s when you’d adapt to the malcontented ones

And make your own way through the mist

Don’t look down upon us-the ones that don’t appear as brightly

 

I know:

We both breathe, but my lungs have more smoke than yours

If I’ve changed, you’ve changed too…

Look to the Sky for the Warning

The world feels white

So easy to contaminate with our breath

And my head holds up like cardboard

The threshold was beyond opening

I took a knife to it anyways

The innards resembled clouds

And I was the storm

Through your eyes

The light manifested itself

Mentioning a mindfield of irrationalities,

We spoke of the future with unparallel emotions

You told me, “This is dangerous”

But only the blood seeped in.

We adapted.

Placement

On my mind

On my head

On my lungs

Attached to the water

Sinking.

Demand & Disperse

You call my name out on the staircase

requesting an audience with my eyelids,

"join me in this frostbitten dance."

We all just want a smoke and a quick fix

turning to the ocean, 

eyeing for an escape

"wait for me."

Plunging together.

I left you a note attached to a nameless heart,

"don't tear this note apart."

Because my mouth filled with sand, 

I saw your eyes fill with 

lust.

We Grew Up To Be Gravediggers

I saw the rabbit in the whites of your eyes

your pupils move like pendulums,

but your heart just

drops.

I heard your voice, 

you were singing along

The light rises then it falls 

just like marbles being dropped.

Light up your own cigarette.

This is the city 

and the birds have none to spare.

We've got a box of Crayolas,

but we just draw the Earth ashen.

I couldn't be scared if I tried

because you told me with your tongue, 

"glass hearts mix better broken, 

so kill while you're young"

In the Rain

I'm going straight down this time

getting the page dirty in the process

I can't control it though

I saw your reflection in the knife

and felt your words on my shoulder

What you screamed at me

is not what you told her.

I'm Trying to Quit

your lips

are the strongest daggers

my thoughts

kill faster than words

.

Let's light the trees on fire

there are too many trees

so I draw just one

just so infinity of stars

I only see the sun

the ground is covered with grass and leaves

I decided to believe only in the weeds

the clock cried one

I saw 11

We jumped the broom

& made heaven

that one time.

And the crow cried four?

I nod my head

u tongue a response

I lay in bed

ur hair's in knots

A change in wind

u change ur ways

& 

I write you love songs

on saturdays